As most people know, we have experienced some difficult days in the Flathead over the last month and a half. Death, pain, and fear no longer lurk in the margins of our daily existence; rather, certain events have moved closer to the surface and forced us into a new cultural narrative and collective anxiety. Throughout these last few weeks, I’ve been pondering the last line of this poem above from Wendell Berry. My wife and I have this framed and hanging in our living room.

I want to share with you a moment in the midst of the darkness and pain where I saw a collective force carry this candle against the wind. Before I share this experience, I want to directly address the literal dozens of people that I have done debriefings, one-on-ones and held very intimate spaces with that my forthcoming account is in no way to portray a trite triumphalism of a serious event that makes you feel awkward or manipulates your emotions and suffering. You all have, as you know, my heart, both now and in the days ahead.

I was in my living room on my day off when I had a strong urge to put on a chaplain shirt and turn on the radio. Nine minutes later I was driving with a purpose to Fuel Fitness after hearing about the shooting that just happened. After hearing on the radio that medical was cleared to enter, I quickly arrived on the scene. For my humility, I made a mistake in my entry to the parking lot, which I have now been happily briefed and trained for the future.

Without any context of what was happening or had happened, I found myself witnessing both Kalispell Fire and Police trying to save a life; a life that appeared to be slipping away. These are people that I’ve come to know, folks I laugh with, know some of their families, and for whom I have grown a deep love and affection. Please don’t tell them this or they’ll use it against me… 🙂 In what looked like a seamless, slow-motion choreographed dance, there was this unrelenting honesty of humanity. People without any context were throwing their lives out to save someone else. It leaves me in awe every time I think about it.

What happened next is even more incredible and I strongly feel should be highlighted for the public. In the moments that followed this horrific morning, the entire county got to work; dispatch, KPD, KFD, Sheriff’s Deputies, chaplains, Kalispell Parks & Rec, and local business owners all jumped in within an hour to both do their job and help people if possible. As I was a witness from start to finish for 2-3 hours, I saw a collective group, both first responder and citizen carry this candle against the wind.

As I continuously replayed this morning over the last few weeks, it struck me vividly that this fearless surge of humanity is what our valley and world desperately need. I have had multiple conversations with people closely connected to both the shooting at Fuel Fitness and recent suicides, both young and old. There is a unanimous groan from these folks when they are simply told to “trust the system.” The system works and helps indeed, but in the hopes to echo the consistent cry from many that I’ve talked to – what we need in the face of death, suicide, murder, pain, abuse, trauma is the bold, respectful, radical, consistent love of humanity.

In whatever ways possible and that are good for the souls of others, we all need to look for ways that we may need to sacrifice parts of our ego, move through the curtain social norms with those around us in life and truly offer ourselves for the good of others. We sadly exist in a world where people feel that offering quick advice to complex human issues helps people. This is surface-level help at best. We can truly care and connect with others by simply asking good open-ended questions without matching their responses with black & white isms in order to help fix it or get over it. Let’s move our social media sentiments of trying to help into actual face-to-face encounters with human beings. Be willing to be ok with not knowing what to say or do in the perfect way because even the simple act of encountering and connecting with humanity in a humble, open and honest way will begin to wage war on the loneliness and isolation that so many deal with.

Greater love have no man than this: that a man lay down his life for another.

Love your neighbor as yourself.

I give you a new commandment: love one another. Just as I have loved you.

These words of Jesus are not simply some moral theistic humanity do-goodery. These are the words and reality of the Kingdom of God where pain and sorrow are snuffed out and emaciated. We can enter into this reality here on earth because of what Christ came to offer us: Himself. If you’ve been around me long enough you have heard me say that Jesus never imposes Himself on us and we must encounter others in the same way. When people are made to feel more human through humble, simple, honest encounters more so than being a number or project, small gradual change can occur while inching away from the abyss. Thank God, because we all need this.

This is not the work of other people. It’s me, you, uncles & aunts, grandparents, friends, neighbors, co-workers, random encounters, etc.

Wendell Berry’s line of, “Help me, please, to carry this candle against the wind” denotes two things. One, we need someone outside of ourselves to provide help, and two, carrying the candle against the wind can be the greatest form of humanity, both individually and collectively as humans.

May the God of all help and mercy meet each of you in the midst of your own hurt and pain.

Yours, In Christ,

Chris Messenger